| wait... what? |
[18 May 2008|11:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 indescribable |
] |
i'm graduating in less than 2 weeks?? seriously? since when did this happen?
graduation is like something you hear about all of your life, but you never actually get there. you just wait and expect it, but it's always been way off in the distance. it's like walking down a hallway where the door seems to get farther away the closer you walk toward it. the whole reason you're walking down that hallway is to get to that door, but you can never reach it. the door still seems far away, but i'm told it's actually right in my face. i don't believe it. i can't.
i don't know how to feel about it all. i'm excited? i guess so. i finally made it! 12+ years of schooling has been to prepare me for this. am i ready to graduate and begin the rest of my life? i don't know. the end of this summer seems like the end of my life. i suppose in a way it is. the end of my life as i know it. after this summer i'm starting a whole new life. a whole new city. whole new people. i'm literally starting from scratch. there won't a single familiar thing waiting for me. it's going to be so crazy. i'm scared. i'm excited. i'm hopeful. i'm hopeless. i'm happy. i'm worried. i'm terrified. i'm curious. i'm sad. i'm depressed. i'm optimistic. i'm nervous. i'm all of those emotions in one mind - all at the same time. it's crazy.
and i'm going to miss everyone sooo incredibly much! i can't even describe it. and i'd prefer not to or else i'm going to start crying my eyes out. that might be the hardest thing for me next year. not having the people that i've come to need and depend on the way i have them now. sometimes a voice over the phone just isn't enough. there are going to be times when i get really lonely. but supposedly people make new friends. i hear that happens. and i hear there are other cool people in the world. why can't someone invent a teleporter already? then i could have my new friends and my old ones whenever i needed them. i want my cake and i want to eat it too.
i don't know. everything will work itself out. life goes on. the world keeps spinning. and i'm going to find ways to handle whatever life throws at me. whether it be lemons or flowers. i would just prefer flowers. so life, please make a note of that.
okay, i'm done ranting.
peace on
|
|
| 9 years volunteering |
[18 May 2008|11:49am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 pleased |
] |
TROPICAL HEATWAVE WAS AMAZING!!!
Sooo awesome!
Peter Mulvey was great (and really nice). Awesome guitarist!
It was fun dancing to Atlas Soul and then The Blue Vipers of Brooklyn
The Zydepunks were good (almost bought a CD)
The Reverend Peyton's Big Damn Band started it off and rocked it
Hoots and Hellmouth were pretty awesome (didn't get to see very much of them)
Del Castillo rocked (and the guy gave me a free t-shirt)
And (of course) Gandalf Murphy and the Slambovian Circus of Dreams were incredible! That was the band I was most excited to see and they were AWESOME! They made Pink Floyd and Beatles references. =) I got a t-shirt and a CD and all of the band members signed my CD. They're all really nice people. I even got to meet the lead singer (yay for being a volunteer!). I'd say this was one of the best Tropical Heatwaves that I've been to. =)
|
|
| you know what? |
[12 Mar 2008|11:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 calm |
] |
i wish my world was covered in bubble wrap.
|
|
| because the wind is high, it blows my mind |
[12 Mar 2008|09:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
People are so strange. It's crazy how different personalities react to one another. And that such different personalities can get along so well. Take Jackie and me, for instance. We're so different, yet she is one of my best friends. I don't know what I would do without her. But because we're so different we have a lot to teach each other (or atleast, she has a lot to teach me). I definitely have changed quite a bit since knowing her. For one thing, I've become more confident and out-going. Zena and I were talking about this for most of yesterday, except we were talking more about relationships. She was saying that you can either learn a lot and have an amazing experience with someone opposite from you or you can just be happy with someone the same as you. I agree with this to an extent. It is true that you're going to learn more from someone who is different from you. Now, I don't want to say that you should be with someone different rather than someone like you simply because I'm with someone who is like me and I've never been happier in my life. But I understand how it can be better for you so that you can grow as a person. Then again, it doesn't have to be your significant other that is different from you, it can be a friend. Plus, you can never get someone who is truely the same as you because everyone is different and has had different experiences. And also, life (and all the different things you will experience) will teach you a lot and help you to grow as a person.
I dunno, just something to think about.
Well, I probably sound crazy now (as if I wasn't) and this won't mean anything to anyone else but Zena and I. So, goodnight to everyone.
Peace on
P.S. I think I'm slowly catching senioritis.
|
|
| in an optimistic state of mind |
[27 Feb 2008|09:37pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
happy |
] |
i've been looking through all of the information that came with my acceptance letter. i even started filling out the housing application (i'm a non-smoking vegetarian who is fairly neat, only shares with people i know well, and can't tolerate rap music =]). it's feels weird, but in a really good way. before now, college has always felt like it was way, way off in the future, even though i'm a senior in high school (no wonder i've never caught senioritis, eh?). but now that i'm actually filling out financial aid forms, housing applications, choosing my meal plan, which building i want to live in, etc., it's becoming more real. college doesn't feel so far away anymore. and that excites and scares me tremendously! well... i have to say, it excites me more than it scares me at this point. i won't be truely scared until i'm all set to go. but i'm glad college is still a few months away, i'm not quite ready to leave yet.
knowing where i'm going to college makes me excited for the future now. =) and i'm more confident in my hopes for the future...
for the first time in my life, everything feels like it's simply falling into place. =]
peace on
|
|
| i swear i almost fainted |
[25 Feb 2008|09:32pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 beyond excited |
] |
So, these are my new feelings on college:
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! AAAAAHHHHH!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
I GOT INTO THE MARYLAND INSTITUTE COLLEGE OF ART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I almost can't believe it! I'm going to MICA! I'm going to be living in Baltimore!!
I am in utter shock (in the best kind of way).
It feels so good to finally know. =)
|
|
| she came in through the bathroom window |
[22 Feb 2008|06:06pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 complacent |
] |
Update on my life (for those who are interested):
everything is going well. i can't really complain of much right now. i just wish i would get a letter from a certain college (hopefully one of acceptance)... supposedly that should be coming soon.
and i finished my online class!! i'm so excited! that class was a bitch; i'm so glad it's over! i think i'm finally beginning to feel like a senior... it's still weird, though, thinking about how in less than a year i'll be in college... i think i can handle it. and i know alex and i will be able to handle the distance, but it'll still be hard not seeing him all the time. i've gotten so used to seeing him pretty much everday. but college will be the big test. if we can last all four years, then we can last through anything! =)
anyway, i had something that i was going to say. i seem to have forgotten it, though... oh well, it wasn't important.
i wrote a poem the other day, it's not really good or thing, but i kinda like it:
Ode to the Complacent
I don't write songs
I can barely play guitar
I try to be poetic
But I don't get very far
I'm what you'd consider "safe"
My life lays in between
Always in the middle
Never to one extreme
My thoughts aren't revolutionary
My ideas are mediocre
I have only a few opinions
And my words have no flavor
But just because you can't sense my enthusiasm
Doesn't mean that it's not there
My head is full of imagination
And my heart is full of so much care
i know, it's not much. i'll make it better, eventually...
until then, deal with it.
well, that's all for today.
peace on.
|
|
| Oh, It Is Love. |
[18 Nov 2007|06:32pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 peaceful |
] |
Dear Livejournal,
I know, I know, it's been a while... I'm so bad at keeping up with blogs (and diaries in general). I just don't always have anything to say. Actually, I don't really have anything to say right now either. But I felt like updating. I suppose it's a bit harder to update when you don't have anything to say... Oh well.
Hmmm... I guess I could talk about yesterday. It was AMAZING! One of my favorite days! I got to steal Alex for almost the whole day!
I picked him up from his house around 2:30-ish. We came back to my house and hung out for a while and watched A Hard Day's Night (gotta love them Beatles!). Then, I surprised him with a picnic (sort of) at Red Bug Slough. I even blindfolded him so he wouldn't know where we were going. =) He was pleasantly surprised and kept saying I was cute. ^_^ He's so cute/amazing/wonderful! And Red Bug Slough is so beautiful! It's like some secret place that shouldn't exist, but somehow it does. It feels magical. Especially when the weather is so nice! I should go there more often. Anyway, we had a nice time and we explored the place a little bit. But it started getting dark, so we had to leave. After that, we just went back to my house and cuddled. And cuddled. And cuddled. And cuddled. ^_^ We basically cuddled all evening until I had to take him home. We're cute like that. There isn't a thing I would rather do more than just cuddle with him. Being in his arms is the best feeling in the world! I love him so much! I can't believe it's been over 10 months now that we've been together. I can't believe it because it feels like it's been so much longer! It should be years!
Honestly, I'm not too worried about us and college. When the time comes I'll probably be more worried (and I'll miss him terribly), but right now I'm optimistic. I think we can make it work. We'll call each other everday and visit as much as possible. And if for some reason we don't last through college, there's always after college. I dunno. We'll make it work.
Well, that is all for now.
peace on
|
|
|
[07 Oct 2007|09:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 confused |
] |
life is an un-shelf riding by.
x does not equal shelf.
|
|
| "we tried to find some words to aid in the decay..." |
[07 Jun 2007|09:01pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
good |
] |
life is going so well right now! i feel so loved! and my list of things to worry about has shortened considerably since the end of school (although, it's still rather long). this summer is going so nicely: slow and relaxed. but i've been keeping myself busy with friends and stuff. it's nice. i still can't believe the fact that i'm a senior (or almost). i'll probably be 35 and still not be able to believe it. life is just crazy like that... -oops- i was about to go off on a tangent about how crazy life is, but i stopped myself. nothing i was going to say was going to be original, so i'll save it for another day. well.........
I miss livejournal. it used to be so populated and interesting. now: not so much. i miss writing a journal or diary, etc. i just wish i had more to say... =/
peace on.
|
|
| oh, it's what you do to me. |
[05 Apr 2007|07:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
very happy |
] |
yeah, i'd say we're in love.
and i've never been happier. ^_^
"Love, love me do.
You know I love you,
I'll always be true,
So please, love me do.
Whoa, love me do."
(and how amazing is it that that song started playing when i went to visit alex at his work? pretty darn amazing!)
so, i might get to see the Plain White T's tomorrow for free.
i'm excited!
i think this will be a pretty good weekend. (even though i won't get to see him at all)
and my little brother is turning 15 years old!
since when is he allowed to be 15??!?
i keep bumming myself out remembering that i have to go to school monday.
for some reason it feels like we have a larger break of some sort.
maybe i'm still in spring break mode?
who knows...
"that's just plain white amazing!"
hairPEACE
|
|
| Smut |
[18 Mar 2007|12:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 content |
] |
Wow. It's been a while since I updated.
I dunno. Not too much to say, I guess.
Life is good. Relationship is good.
Hit a little rough patch yesterday, but pretty much smoothed things over.
So, I guess that's about it.
Just kinda worried about how my schedule is going to work next year.
And about college. Where will I go? How will I get there? How will I pay for it?
... The usual.
But right now things could hardly be better. =)
Going to the fair today. It'll be fun. I haven't been to the fair in a couple years.
Too bad I have to finish a paper for ma classe francais.
Oh well, I'll finish it eventually.
Okay. Well, I'm done for now.
hairPEACE!
|
|
| My, It sure is hand outside today! |
[16 Feb 2007|03:19pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
happy |
] |
2007 has, so far, been my favorite year. Despite the fact that it hasn't really been all that cold this winter... but today's weather was amazing! And especially now that it's half sunny, half overcast! I dunno. Today has just been a really good day...
And this Valentine's Day was my all-time favorite! I don't think it could have been better! *sigh* La vie est bonne. =]
Shalom.
|
|
| Walrus ♥ Eggman |
[22 Jan 2007|07:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
happy |
] |
This has been the best beginning to what is, hopefully, an amazing year!
And this past weekend was pretty awesome (if I do say so myself!):
Friday:
- Spent the entire afternoon/evening with Alex. Simply and unbelievably amazing.
- Gotta love that Tuttle Circle. ;]
Saturday:
- Julie and Jessica came over.
- We kidnapped Rachel.
- Bought ice cream and zesty fries at Super Duper Uber Wal-Mart.
- Ate said ice cream at Pineview and roamed the campus (my first time there).
- Went back to my house and ate the fries (mm mm good).
- Goofed-off on my trampoline and wrestled Julie for control of my phone.
- Went to Sarasota Square.
- Actually got one of those photo booth pictures.
- Basically acted our age the entire day.
Sunday:
- Went to the beach with Jackie.
- Danced around in the FREEZING water.
- Adam showed up.
- Nasty Grape Garbage.
- Sandollar Face and Buffalo Frog.
- Adam was teaching Jackie some Hungarian.
- Tried waiting for the Drum Circle.
- Too many tourists, so we left.
- Got a sunburn.
That about covers most of it. I love that I can go to the beach in January. =P
Oh man, I hate Florida.
But I love you guys (those of you that read and care), so I think I can somehow make it through the end of highschool. =]
Peace.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1){kind=small}
daylostdreams's journal
crazy
annoyed, procrastinating